Catching up on 2 days of my journal as I did not take the time to write last night. Friday, Phil & Jess arrived around Noon. It was good to see them again. We took off for Yosemite just after they got here. Once in the park, we drove the main loop. The mountains surrounding the valley are incredible. Half Dome was so majestic against the sky. El Capitan was huge. We hiked to the Nature Center and made time to tour the Ansel Adams exhibit. I wish I had that talent, that gift, that eye. My black & white pics aren’t terrible but they are universes away from what Adams did. And it is very obvious. But, a goal to work towards, right?
We made the 45 minute drive to Glacier Point above the main floor of the valley.
The view was breath taking. From the guardrail, you stood on the edge of a 3,200 foot drop off. It was not my favorite moment. I could feel that invisible force pulling me closer and closer to going over the edge that many of us with height anxiety know about but don’t discuss. It’s so hard to describe. But, I did my breathing and asked Jessica to walk to the edge with me for security. It was very tough to do but I did it and managed to stay at the guardrail for a good bit of time. I even had Phil take a picture of us at the edge. Knowing how much it bothered me, he deliberately took about 3 friggin’ hours to snap 2 friggin’ pictures! But, given the opportunity, I would have done the same to him, so I guess I can’t complain too much. Then we all headed back to camp. I really appreciated Jessica’s understanding and support up at Glacier Point. I could not have pushed myself as close to the edge had she not been there with me.
Back at camp, it was time for dinner & wine! Phil and Jess brought steaks and hash browns for dinner and it was delicious. Then we dove head first into a few bottles of wine. We went through 3 or 4 bottles between the 3 of us. Phil got a little drunk, which is always fun. I got my payback for the extended time Phil made me stand at the cliff edge for the pictures though. I brought up the "subject not to be discussed"...a baby! It was fun to put him in an uncomfortable position as that's how he and I interact. Sick and twisted, but that's part of our closeness and it works for us. It was really great enjoying wine and a campfire with them again. They both mean so much to me and I don’t think I really express well to them how important a part of my life that they are. Maybe they know and I don’t have to explain. I hope so because I really have a tough time expressing the words sometimes. And as much as I pick on Phil, I think they would be great parents and any child would be incredibly lucky to have them as his/her parents. After the wine was gone, it was time for bed, or at least time to put out the fire and do some star gazing. Phil and I watched the stars for a bit then I headed back to my camp to end the night. The stars were as incredible as always. Sitting there under the stars by myself was a great way to end a fun day.
Day 8 began with everyone near my site working to get out of camp before sunrise making it pretty tough to sleep past about 6am. I managed to stay in the sleeping bad until almost 8am though. Just laid there and enjoyed not doing anything in between bits of sleep and quiet. I figured if they could provide dinner, I could handle breakfast. The night before, Phil had requested to sleep in (despite the fact that we were only a few miles from Yosemite and a full day of adventure was waiting on us) and said I could not approach their campsite until 9am. So, as things tend to work out, I was back from the store and drove up to their site at 9:01am. I enjoy cooking when we are together and they seem to think my food is reasonably tasty. Although they are probably too nice to tell me if they thought it sucked. Breakfast burritos make such a great and handy breakfast. Eggs, bacon, salsa and Jack cheese wrapped in a warm tortilla. Only thing that would have made it better would have been a huge glop (yes, it’s a word) of green chilies and sausage instead of bacon (my personal preference).
Once breakfast was complete, we headed into Yosemite. The initial hike we planned seemed too long (6.5 miles round trip) once we got there. Plus, as we arrived a little later in the morning and the hike was suggested for early morning due to direct sun, it didn’t seem like the best idea. So, we opted for an easy hike to the lower Yosemite Falls viewing area. At the base of the falls, we were drenched with spray. It was tough to take a picture because you couldn’t keep the lens free of drops. Very cool, though. The trail to the Lower Falls wasn’t really as much a trail as it was a nice, smooth, flat, semi-paved path. So, it was more a walk in the woods than it was a hike. Phil and Jess wanted more of a hike, so we decided to tackle the partial hike up towards the Upper Yosemite Falls. The trail was shown as being 1.5 miles to the first viewpoint and was listed as “moderate – strenuous”. I told them that I didn’t want to hold them back as I would definitely be slower up the trail than them.
So, I said they should hike at their own speed and not wait for me. Little did I realize that the first mile of the trail was made up of almost 60 switchbacks. I HATE SWITCHBACKS! In case you are not aware of what this type of trail looks like, it is an invention of Satan and is a venture into darkness and evil that he rarely dares to visit. No, that is not an exaggeration. Switchbacks suck! You walk 30 feet on an inclined path strewn with rocks and roots and then “switch back” and do another 30 or so feet on another inclined path also strewn with rocks and roots and then do it yet again…and again…and again, all the while continuing to climb. They may not sound too bad, but let me tell you, when you start hiking up a trail with switchbacks, you learn to hate the damn things. I would walk up 2 or 3 switchbacks then stop to catch my breath. As you can tell from my profile pic, I’m not the fittest person you will ever meet, but dammit I’m not living off an oxygen bottle and being shuttled around in the back of a pickup truck, either.
This trail was tough. I got to various points on the trail where I would take a picture of the Valley below thinking that I could show how high I made it then head back down. But, I couldn’t give up, as much as I wanted to. I kept pushing upwards and onwards. It didn’t help that my backpack probably weighed a good 20 to 25 pounds. Afterwards Phil and Jess both advised me to travel lighter next time. I didn’t need half the stuff in the backpack but didn’t think about that before leaving the car. I finally made it through the switchbacks to a point where the trail edge became what seemed to be about a 40,000 foot straight down drop. Can you say vertigo? I told myself to breathe and to stay calm. Unlike Glacier Point, I was facing this drop off by myself and it was tough. The vertigo was much worse than it had been on Glacier Point. I decided to backtrack on the trail a bit to collect myself before moving on. I walked back to where I felt safer and reached for a drink of water. I realized that I had maybe 2 swigs of water left and another 1/2 mile to go before reaching the viewpoint. Not good. Plus, my legs were shot.
I decided that as I still had to hike all the way back down and I was pretty much out of water, heading back down to the trail head was probably a very smart decision. If I had not run out of water at that point, I would have pushed back up the trail, forced myself past the narrow trail/40,000 foot drop and continued towards the Falls. But, I understand how dehydration can affect you and I knew I didn’t want to go through that pushing farther up the trail. But, I had made the first mile of the trail, which, with the switchbacks, climbed I believe 1,000 feet up from the Valley floor. I felt that was pretty good in the shape I was in and it helped soothe the bitterness of turning around. Shortly after I turned around, I asked a young woman on the trail to take my picture with the Valley behind me. She obliged and we talked for a little while. She was a camp host at the Park and very friendly. I really enjoyed talking to her. It was tough not reaching my initial destination. But, as Doc always says, “flexibility and adaptability are signs of a healthy mind”. So, I recognized my water situation and realized that my decision was a wise one. Walking down the trail was much easier than walking up it. I didn’t have to stop to catch my breath headed down and the switchbacks were much easier to deal with. I made it to the trail head and realized that my hat was no longer tied to my backpack as it had been on the way up. It was gone. I bought the hat at a shop in downtown Albuquerque on one of our “luncheon flights”. I did that trip with Melody, Pedro and Jill. We flew to Albuquerque that morning, had a great lunch at a place spotlighted on “Diners, Drive-ins and Dives” and then walked the shops a bit before heading back to the airport. That’s where I found the hat. But, with no water left in my canteen and no strength left in my legs to tackle the switchbacks again, I decided that the chances of Phil and Jess (or some other hikers) running across the hat on their way down were better than my chances of making it very far back up the trail. I figured that if Phil and Jess found it on the trail, they would know that either I had died on the way up and the rescue crew had carried only my fat, dead body back down the trail to minimize weight, or they would just know that in my absentmindedness, I had left it accidentally. Either way, it meant I didn’t have to hike up that damned trail again. About 30 minutes after reaching the trail head, I saw Phil and Jess coming into view and sure enough, Phil had my hat. I was glad to see all three of them.
After a short hike (and a huge water refill) we were back at the car. Jess brought sandwiches with her that morning for our lunch. Honey Ham and smoked Gouda cheese with a little spiced mustard. After the hike, that sandwich seemed like a 4 star meal at fancy restaurant. One of the things I enjoy about time with Phil and Jess is that they are more “traveled” or “refined” or whatever you want to call it than me. They enjoy things in life I may not have tried before due to a closed mind and introduce me to new things and experiences. Kind of weird when I’m 15 years older than them. Hell, to me, cheese comes in 2 flavors – Pepper Jack and Cheddar. They are into the wine and cheese scene and bring experiences that I have never really given a thought to and that helps broaden my outlook and my adventures. Cheese may not be the best example of this, but, it relates to the story being told and the smoked Gouda cheese that was on that sandwich after my Hell-Hike. Ours is a strange but oddly balanced relationship but I wouldn’t trade it for all the Harleys and 18 year old French Canadian strippers in the world. Or at least I’ve never been given the opportunity to make that swap and like to believe I wouldn’t take the offer.
I wish we had more opportunity to camp together. I love to camp and really love spending time with both Phil and Jess. They are my closest friends and spending time with them is always enjoyable. But, schedules and distance make that pretty tough so I will enjoy what is available. I wish they could travel further along the Parks loop with me but life and work are expecting them both back on Monday. The time in Yosemite has been great. The Park is magnificent, majestic, awe inspiring and so many more adjectives that I can’t think of right now. After Phil and Jess leave in the morning, I will head back into the Park and try to catch sunset from the Tunnel View turnout. It offers a view of the entire Valley rimmed by El Capitan, Bridevail Falls and Half Dome in the distance. It is a postcard come to life. Kings Canyon and Sequoia Parks are next on the adventure. Then I plan to take Jim (my brother) up on his offer to stay at his place in Vegas Tuesday night and make Zion early Wednesday morning.
I was very proud of my accomplishment on the Falls trail today. I wanted to stop and turn around 3 or 4 times. Jessica even commented that she was impressed that I made it as far up the trail as I did. That felt good to have validation of my accomplishment. Two years ago, I would not have ventured much past the Visitors Center and sure as Hell would not have attempted the Falls trail. It has taken time, effort, tears and strength, but the progress I’ve made in just over 2 years has been remarkable and a whole new world of adventure has opened up for me. I can’t explain how that has changed my life, my attitude or my self confidence.
(At this point, the combination of emotion and Black Russians took me to that area where I start cussing the closed and scared life I lived for so many years mixed with joy from the new life I am creating as I continue to overcome my anxiety. The handwriting in my journal becomes unreadable, even to me and my language becomes very graphic. So, I reworded the last sentence or two in order to provide an ending to the entry and left the rest of what I wrote to exist scribbled on its original paper home. Suffice it to say that the day’s adventure, my accomplishment on the Falls trail and the time with close friends made it a wonderful day from beginning to end).
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